For sure a strange week for me. I didn't record down my daily blessings again, but I promise that I will start again going into the week ahead. This past week was filled with ups and downs. It started out on a pretty worrisome note as a spillover from the past 2 weeks. However, things cooled off and it ended up not so bad as I imagined. Perhaps it's really not so bad after all? Maybe. Let's see.

I think the week started off pretty badly with the same grilling from boss, questioning why stuff was not done well, not on time, yada yada, the usual. But it really surprised me when he asked to talk to me in person on Thur which was supposed to be his work-from-home day. I thought like shit was going down, and that I was finally gonna get fired. Which honestly, I was fine with. Aside from the being discontented that the blame was all placed on me, I was more than happy to be freed from the toxic situation. 

But alas, for better or for worse, that was not the case. Quite the contrary actually. He let me go for lunch before the meeting, so we would be in better moods. And he spoke softly instead of the usual online shouting. He explained to me all the details and expectations of my role, and I voiced my issues and how I think things could be improved. He even sort of "apologized" for the personal attacks and digging up the past stuff to use against me. Saved by the bell, the meeting room was actually booked by someone and we had to vacate, thus cutting the lecture short. 

All in all, I think it went well. Somehow, I am still employed, and my roles and responsibilities have been better clarified. Also, I'm not sure if he spoke to the other team, but they are generally more cooperative with me now. A pretty decent improvement I feel. Which again brings into question the discussion of whether I should stay or leave. Naimin still thinks it's suspicious, and that perhaps I am somehow being played. I can't say I am 100% sure, but I am willing to give it a second chance for now. I think at least some amount of it can be attributed to growing pains, and it we don't at least give it time to play out, then hopping from place to place won't really help me learn much. 

I will, of course, be keeping my options open. If a better opportunity comes my way, I will take it. But it is not super pressing immediate anymore. More like casually browsing. At least until the next shit storm. Haha. I think what's more important is to manage my own mood, what I am doing, and what I want to do. I should continue to take things positively, and not let others affect me mentally. Which incidentally, I feel like I had put up a great effort on that as of late. I couldn't do a 100% positive filter, but I stood resilient, and for that I think I need to at least commend myself for the effort. 

Therefore, moving forward I think it will be important for me to continue doing these weekly blessing logs. It is crucial for me to recall and highlight the positives that had happened in my week, so that I do not go overboard on the negative introspection. I will also continue to push for my interests to be actively pursued even in the face of my busy work schedule. If not, then why should I work so hard for right? Speaking of which, 2 things come to mind for things I need to do. First is the coming 11/11 sale that I will need to prepare a list of things to buy. I already have a preliminary list. Second, will be to get my damn iMac fixed. I have let that one drag for too long. Time to step up my own interests! 

An awesome song. LiSA + Uru + Ayase goodness.

That's about all of it in a nutshell. A week that started out pretty hectic, but mellowed out toward the end. I cleared a lot of work, sorted misunderstandings, and I am fine now. As promised, I will be getting a new colleague to offload some of my work on 7th Dec. Looking forward to that. For now, we just gotta do what we gotta do, and not get lost in the thick of it all. Stay strong guys, 2020 is about to come to an end. We will get through it!