As I had mentioned last week, when you have one super ultra hectic week, then suddenly a week with nothing much to do, the contrast is huge. Not sure if it is just some calm before the storm, but I am going to enjoy it as much as possible while it lasts! This week was a chill week where we were mostly tying up loose ends and preparing for stuff to come. Overall, a happy week! 

Mon (23/11)

Today, boss was on leave which meant that the Monday morning meeting went okay without any major issues, which is nice. I was working from home too, which is a bonus as I get to take a short nap after lunch. Definitely an awesome perk to have when doing wfh. In the afternoon, we also received a package delivery which was the robot vacuum that my sister ordered. It's the Xiaomi Mijia 1C model, we just named it 'Jeff'. LOL. Interestingly enough, I posted about it on Instagram and got a few replies from ex-classmates asking me about it! I don't socialize much, so it's always nice when old acquaintances talk to me. But yeah, thankful to catch up with them over the robot vacuum topic haha. After dinner, I also walked out with sis to grab the 1 for 1 Starbucks deal and we both got a java chip frappuccino which was nice. Overall, a good day. 

Tue (24/11)

Again, not much work to do today. So, I actually went to hit up the intern to see if he got any documents that he needed me to review, then I dropped him a bunch of comments for him to work on. Dad came back home from work early, so he bought us some Roti Prata lunch from the usual Jalan Kayu place. It's quite nice albeit not as good as before. After work, Dad was nice enough to fetch me down to go get my iMac repaired. Something that I had been planning but putting off for many months now. It feels great to finally just go and get it done. It will likely take about 1 or 2 weeks to be done, but it's better than having a dead weight that does nothing. I also took the opportunity to clean up my mega dusty table! Bitcoin price was pumping today too, so I took the opportunity and made a quick $200 from a day trade. Good times. 

Wed (25/11)

Another pretty much free day. Working from home is the bomb, I'm not sure what people are complaining about really. I think they are just not used to being stuck at home. No problem there for me! I actually enjoy it. Today, I also got an update for the status for my iMac. Apparently there were some problems with the logic board, not the power supply as I suspected. They also tried to upsell me on some HDD replacement, but I wasn't having any of that. I just added on for new thermal paste because it was old and I wanted it changed. Dinner was awesome as we got KFC for the whole family. Super sinful and fattening, but oh so delicious and satisfying! 

Thur (26/11)

Back to office, but a surprisingly relaxed day with no scolding from boss! I'm not sure whether he is also in holiday mood or what, but I expected a worse time and was happily surprised. Lunch time, I decided to go try the Samurai Burger at Mcdonalds. Somehow managed to find a seat at the small outlet in Clifford Center. Lucky! After work, I actually had a gym session planned, but I forgot to bring my change of clothes. Had to rush home and grab a quick takeout dinner along the way. But I did make it to gym in the end, and all was fine and dandy. Thankfully I wasn't too late and still got a decent workout in. 

Fri (27/11)

Boss was on leave again, settling some of his renovation works. I find it sad that we are all always celebrating when boss is not around, it really shouldn't be that way. But it is what it is. The good thing is that, I managed to finish my first draft of the requirements document that I was supposed to work on, now just need to clarify some stuff and finalize it. After a million years of not touching mySQL, I also somehow managed to set it up in the afternoon. What's more I had to teach our Data Analyst how to get his up. Quite proud of myself there. LOL. After lunch, I noticed that ShopBack was having a deal on GongCha, and quickly snapped up the deal and redeemed my $1.50 bubble tea. Value! Dinner was pretty satisfying as well, we went to Han's at Seletar Mall to eat. I did see my old NTU classmate Augustine eating with his family, however I decided against going up to talk to him. Side note, but I am actually unsure about talking to people from my past now because I am not sure how they feel about me. I'm just awkward, not trying to avoid or be anti-social. So if you see me, please do feel free to engage me first, so that I know it is "safe" to talk to you. Sorry. :( 

Sat (28/11)

Today, I was supposed to go to my old pal Shaun's house for some home cooked lunch. However, due to some misunderstandings and turn of events, he was returning home late as well. So I took the time to explore and walk around Stevens MRT station and chat with another of our mutual friends there. Hmm, got quite a bit of gossip stuff that makes me concerned about my friend, but I shall save that for another time. Still it was nice to explore the area. Finally, I walked over to Shaun's house to eat lunch and hang out together with our usual gang. It was a very chill and relaxed day as we mostly just chit chat and lazed around at his house. Legit, one of them fell asleep on the couch until like 7:30 pm. LOL. I left much earlier to join my parents for dinner. Had my favorite Chicken Cutlet Ban Mian from Rivervale Mall. Delicious! 

Sun (29/11)

The usual lazy Sunday recharge and preparation for Monday back to work. Woke up close to noon for lunch. We had some Delifrance pastries that were kept in the fridge along with Nespresso coffee. Also made some curry noodles with the leftover curry from that day's Jalan Kayu Prata haha. Just add instant noodles and egg down to cook. Shiok! Spent the afternoon changing my bedsheets and binge watching YouTube as usual. Unfortunately, my MacBook batteries dies already, it automatically shuts off when I unplug it. I will need to get that replaced as well. Dinner was simple home cooked food and airfryer stuff. After dinner, I walked out with sis to go grab some drinks from the nearby mall. Took longer than usual, but was worth the wait I feel. Got my bubble tea. Satisfied. 

In a nutshell, a pretty relaxed week. A reprieve from the past few hectic weeks. I do have a premonition that things are going to pick up again very soon. But for now, I am going to make the most of what I have. I'd very much like to take this year end period to catch up with old friends and acquaintances. I'm just not sure which ones will talk to me again. So if you feel up to it, please do hit me up. I'd very much like to catch up with you. Just to hang out and chit chat. Other than that, let's all try to have a good time and enjoy the rest of 2020 as it comes to an end. We are going to make it! 

Sometimes things are really strange. You need to experience worse things so that you can appreciate some of the things that you have. It's the contrast. In a way, that got me thinking. I appreciate the weekends and holidays a lot more now that I have such harsh working weekdays. Things have just been so hectic for me. Thank you if you are still reading this, and I apologize for missing out on last week even though I said I would do it. Well, I am back with the usual routine. Here goes! 

Mon (16/11)

Was a generally alright day. Currently had to carry out the User Acceptance Testing (UAT) for the new notifications feature that I was leading. I started out with a few bugs, but I managed to clear with the Executive Officer in a 1-to-1 presentation, so that was good. There was more scolding sessions by the boss again, but this time it wasn't directly targeted at me because I already burnt the weekend making sure all my shit works. Everything else by the rest of the team was broken though. LOL. Hey, I gotta look after myself first right? Anyway, evening was good because I had dinner with my family again. 

Tue (17/11)

So the UAT sessions continue. Honestly, quite tiring as I had to present to each team individually. The good thing that happened was that I managed to get the limited edition cat Starbucks Cup! Yay! It was hard to find and sold out in many places. Afternoon, I had lunch alone so it was hard to find tables. Luckily, a kind lady offered to share her table with me. So nice! I really appreciate these acts of kindness, and wish that it was more common. I will definitely acknowledge them here! Dinner with the family again, which is always good when I don't have to walk home by myself. Grateful for that. 

Wed (18/11)

Usually my dad is nice enough to drop me off at the train station before heading to work in the morning. However, he had to stay with my sister with her Lasik appointment today, so I was on my own. Taking the slightly later train, I was worried because it kept stopping for awhile at every other station. Luckily, I still managed to reach work early even with all the delays. Lunch time was interesting. I had to explore on my own now that I have nobody to go lunch with on this roster, sad. But hey, I managed to find a relatively secluded Mos Burger that didn't really need reserving of tables. A good cozy spot in CBD to enjoy fast food lunch. It had been a long week, but overall just happy that I survived another week of working in office. Next 5 working days will be work from home! 

Thur (19/11)

Last day of the UAT. There were some hiccups and uncooperative users and even our team members, but somehow managed to clear everyone that we needed to clear. Yay! Afternoon was a little weird because I spent time preparing for some stuff that later didn't matter. You see, the boss dropped a big bomb on us. He did a massive reshuffle and reassignment of work to everyone. To his credit, it is quite impressive how he managed to divide and conquer the work that needed to be done. He really is a very capable person, if not for his ego I'd totally respect him more. He reminds me of myself in some ways during the days where I was overbearing on my teammates for project work. Karma? Haha. That being said, I am glad with my new lighter workload and opportunities to learn to directly manage an offshore team. What's more, I managed to get a pretty decent gym session in after work. Good day.

Fri (20/11)

The thing about the reshuffle, is that it practically left me with not much work left to do at the current time. I could only really begin my work after 30th Nov. Which means that I will have nothing much to report for my daily progress, which could be an issue. Haha. I tried to offer my colleague Ikhwan some help on his work, but not sure how I can chip in also. Today was also the company celebration for November birthdays. It was fun! And I really look forward to it every month. Also happens to coincide closely with the next paycheck. Hahaha. Dinner was pretty nice. I went out with dad to buy back food for the family. We got kebab and bubble tea. Good stuff. 

Sat (21/11)

These are really the days that I work so hard for. I got to meet up with my best friend Shaun and our usual hangout gang of people. We went to eat lunch at some chicken rice place at Far East Plaza called Hainanese Delicacy. It was honestly only average in terms of taste and price. Not bad, but wouldn't necessarily go all the way there to have it again. What was more important was the time I had spent hanging out with a bunch of good friends. I really enjoy these sort of days. After that, we went to eat some more kaya toast at some overpriced place. Again, just for a place to chill. Later on in the evening,  I also had the chance to introduce them to my favorite Modanyaki stall at Takashimaya basement. I'm glad that everyone loved it. It's the best! The Taiyaki that I bought there was only average however. I had a much better one at Asakusa Japan, so can't fight. After dinner, we headed to scape to hang out and have milkshakes. Discussed on a bunch of random topics and touched on games in general. I brought up Bartle's Player Types from some of my research and got everyone to do the survey. Honestly, really interested in learning why people play games. Overall, it was a really fun day! I look forward to more of such times, and will work hard towards them!

Sun (22/11)

Today was more subdued for me. Basically just relax at home for the whole day. Gotta fully recharge and prepare for the coming week ahead. Lunch time basically had some Nespresso coffee prepared by sis and random stuff we had around the house to eat, including some pau and instant noodles. Simple stuff. Binged watched YouTube videos the whole day to wind down. Tea break, we had English earl grey tea with honey and some potato chips. For dinner, dad went out to buy food for us again, and I had a huge ass bowl of Mee Pok. It was crazy a lot of food honestly. Shouldn't have upsized. Hahaha. But hey, at least an overall happy chill and relaxed day. Just the way I like it. 

So there you have it. I am back at this in full force. But really, the theme for this week for me is: Contrast. It really makes me understand that you will really come to appreciate stuff more when you have to work so hard for it. The bitter parts are also what makes the good parts sweet. So cherish your times, both the good and the bad. Because each day we live, is another day that we have spent on this Earth. Don't fret over the bad times, recognize them and use them to savor the good times. Make the most of what you have, and be happy!  

For sure a strange week for me. I didn't record down my daily blessings again, but I promise that I will start again going into the week ahead. This past week was filled with ups and downs. It started out on a pretty worrisome note as a spillover from the past 2 weeks. However, things cooled off and it ended up not so bad as I imagined. Perhaps it's really not so bad after all? Maybe. Let's see.

I think the week started off pretty badly with the same grilling from boss, questioning why stuff was not done well, not on time, yada yada, the usual. But it really surprised me when he asked to talk to me in person on Thur which was supposed to be his work-from-home day. I thought like shit was going down, and that I was finally gonna get fired. Which honestly, I was fine with. Aside from the being discontented that the blame was all placed on me, I was more than happy to be freed from the toxic situation. 

But alas, for better or for worse, that was not the case. Quite the contrary actually. He let me go for lunch before the meeting, so we would be in better moods. And he spoke softly instead of the usual online shouting. He explained to me all the details and expectations of my role, and I voiced my issues and how I think things could be improved. He even sort of "apologized" for the personal attacks and digging up the past stuff to use against me. Saved by the bell, the meeting room was actually booked by someone and we had to vacate, thus cutting the lecture short. 

All in all, I think it went well. Somehow, I am still employed, and my roles and responsibilities have been better clarified. Also, I'm not sure if he spoke to the other team, but they are generally more cooperative with me now. A pretty decent improvement I feel. Which again brings into question the discussion of whether I should stay or leave. Naimin still thinks it's suspicious, and that perhaps I am somehow being played. I can't say I am 100% sure, but I am willing to give it a second chance for now. I think at least some amount of it can be attributed to growing pains, and it we don't at least give it time to play out, then hopping from place to place won't really help me learn much. 

I will, of course, be keeping my options open. If a better opportunity comes my way, I will take it. But it is not super pressing immediate anymore. More like casually browsing. At least until the next shit storm. Haha. I think what's more important is to manage my own mood, what I am doing, and what I want to do. I should continue to take things positively, and not let others affect me mentally. Which incidentally, I feel like I had put up a great effort on that as of late. I couldn't do a 100% positive filter, but I stood resilient, and for that I think I need to at least commend myself for the effort. 

Therefore, moving forward I think it will be important for me to continue doing these weekly blessing logs. It is crucial for me to recall and highlight the positives that had happened in my week, so that I do not go overboard on the negative introspection. I will also continue to push for my interests to be actively pursued even in the face of my busy work schedule. If not, then why should I work so hard for right? Speaking of which, 2 things come to mind for things I need to do. First is the coming 11/11 sale that I will need to prepare a list of things to buy. I already have a preliminary list. Second, will be to get my damn iMac fixed. I have let that one drag for too long. Time to step up my own interests! 

An awesome song. LiSA + Uru + Ayase goodness.

That's about all of it in a nutshell. A week that started out pretty hectic, but mellowed out toward the end. I cleared a lot of work, sorted misunderstandings, and I am fine now. As promised, I will be getting a new colleague to offload some of my work on 7th Dec. Looking forward to that. For now, we just gotta do what we gotta do, and not get lost in the thick of it all. Stay strong guys, 2020 is about to come to an end. We will get through it! 

The reflection for this week will be quite different than the usual. It will likely be more introspective and analytical than usual. Partly, because I did not record down the daily blessings for the week. But mostly, because it had just been a really different week altogether. I had been struggling at times to find the positive light to all of it. And trust me, there are, but it is a very hard thing to do when you're in the thick of it. Allow me to explain what happened. 

Bluntly put, it had not been a good week. Monday started off relatively fine as I explored more lunch food and drinks places with Khee Soon. But things took a nosedive when it came to work. The team had problems working on the upcoming release, and it basically blew up internally. Boss man was really mad, so he initiated scolding session after scolding session on us. It got pretty bad. I mean, the first 40-50% of the content actually made some sense and had some points for us to work on. 

But when he got emotional, boy did he blow up. He started to edge off from constructive feedback into criticisms and borderline personal attacks. I mean, I tried to take it in a positive light, but somethings he said and did really did hurt me. Like, he started questioning my skills and capabilities, and even went back to point out the stuff I wrote in my CV. He later pulled out my online assessment to show me too. Certainly the worst, was that he explicitly mentioned that he fired off my predecessor because he was unable to deliver. Something with heavy threat connotations, in my opinion. Not cool.

Believe me, I tried very hard to rationalize everything. To justify the situation. I felt like I should perhaps "put up" with it and see how it goes. I felt like I was being weak. But when I brought up the situation to my good friend Naimin, he was like straight up: "run". LOL. Looking back at it again, I think he might be right. No job is worth putting up with such constant barrages of psychological attacks. I think it is unhealthy for me in the long run, and I'd very much like to avoid a second case of a mental breakdown like what happen in years past. 

So I have intended to take my good friend's advice. Stay on for now, but keep open and actively looking for better opportunities. Because surely, there are much better places out there than what I am currently in. And for the record, your job should not be so tough and mentally draining. It's not healthy nor sustainable. So yeah, I am starting to update my CV, and will begin actively applying to better companies soon. Consider this a call for favor, but if you come across any good opportunities, please do send them my way. That would be very much appreciated! 

But yeah, that's the gist of all the reflections for the week. Unfortunately, it couldn't be as positive as usual, but it is what it is. I guess at the end of the day, it comes down to your sense of self worth. Like how much do I value myself, my health, and my overall well-being, versus how badly I want to stay on and learn and earn that paycheck. Is it even worth it if I can't enjoy the process and find a sense of fulfillment? I don't know. But what I say safely, is that I do not think it should be torturous. It can be tough, sure. Any learning journey will be tough. But it should never be unnecessarily torturing, when the pain endured no longer serves any meaningful purpose for growth.  

So that's all. Just need to watch out for toxic environments and gotta look out for yourself. There is a time and place for everything. While we should continually look on the bright side of life, we should also strive to find places where we can thrive and be happy. Because happiness is something we need to actively work towards. And this blog is all about that journey. Journey of Jubilation.